I'm afraid one day I will forget daylight,
I won't realise there is light falling on every millimeter of the surface around me.
Houses on each side of streets will start to dance mad, mad and uncontrollable,
or will stand straight, much too straight, scarily solid and concrete, as cold as proved facts. Both cases will make me feel I cannot wake up from a spreading nightmare, and even more the space in between those two visions.
I won't observe the soft lines and curves of my lover's face because he won't be sleeping next to me anymore,
his muscles twitching like cats do when they dream, the secret network I draw between his eyelids, the commissure of his lips, asleep, his nose and cheek bones he would feel my face with, the flawless eyebrows, the out of focus chin and hair line.
I'll stare at the emptiness at night, my mouth and eyes full of cold sand.
I'll look sad and depressed, if anyone would care to qualify the state I'd be fast drowning in. But inside there would be no sadness, not at all, there would be something beyond loneliness and mere regrets, there would be a whole world of shadows and nothingness no word can be put on.
There would be nihility.
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nihility what else?